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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?